he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
