In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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