I cockslap morals
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
operation have a gay friend backfired
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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