just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
