i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize