yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
