No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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