One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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