my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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