I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
