My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
