Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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