I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
