I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
