i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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