Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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