erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
