is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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