she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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