What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
