Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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