Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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