Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
