Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
