you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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