I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize