I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize