I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize