do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
