Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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