So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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