I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
