Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Randomize
