do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
