i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
