I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
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