Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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