apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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