You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
