I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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