i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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