how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
