my soul wont recognize me after tonight
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He? As in you personified your dick?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
