i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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