just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
