feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
