there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
