Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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