My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
