Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
