Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
