Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
