Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
You smell like stripper and shame
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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