spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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