3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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