I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
He has the fingertips of a God
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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