so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize