i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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