She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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