if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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